Honesty is a core pillar in my philosophy of life. This is because the ability to think and speak freely is extremely important to me. When I say ‘speak freely’, what I’m really referring to is the ability to be completely authentic and honest. If I’m constantly worrying about having to censor myself, it’s much more difficult to have rich and meaningful conversations. Naval describes this as a sort of fragmentation of the mind where different threads of consciousness have to run in parallel. Trying to balance my authentic self while: remembering that one person can’t stand politics, another person has daddy issues, and another has a whole different set of triggers. It’s exhausting.
This is why I try to spend time with people who also value honesty. When I’m talking with my friends, I don’t have to avoid certain topics or worry about offending them. This is because we’ve built a friendship around trust and honesty, so by default we give each other the benefit of the doubt. Even if I say something that they vehemently disagree with or vise-versa, our friendship will remain strong because there is a level of maturity and understanding. This allows me to think and speak freely. It’s so much better. Consequently, in my relationships, if my ability to speak freely feels compromised, I will likely distance myself.
Now I’m not advocating for us to go out and be 100 percent honest with everyone at all times and use radical honesty as an excuse to have no filter. That’s also not ideal. You obviously don’t want to act socially inept. So there will be a certain level of sugarcoating or with-holding of truths, but those exist in any relationship.
As with everything else in life, there is a balance to strive for in relationships.
And I think it is heavily weighted in favor of honesty.